Publishing a book — the untold emotional side

Dear Reader,

I published a book a couple of days back. I could traipse and yodel and do all those atrocious things I never do. But I won’t. I just keep virtually whooping from time to time.

It is a funny feeling to have published a book, regardless of where you’ve published it. I chose CreateSpace largely because I was too lazy to research, and because I like the name. Print on Demand has one very important aspect. Your published books don’t rot, they aren’t subjected to weevils and spider webs in a bookstore somewhere in the netherworld of the Book World. That’s a relief, yes. No one knows just how much you’ve sold, except you. You can keep your CS Member Dashboard open day in and day out — while you’re feeding your 5-month old, or cooing with her, or letting her pull your hair, or making watery steamed fish. It can always be open for you to see one number getting added every few months. And if your good friends are generous, they also tell you they’ve purchased. So that you can rush, and look at that number. book sold. Ah, the magical whoosh of adrenalin!

Thank you, Val, for being my first purchaser. There have been 2 since. So the number has increased to 3!

Sadly, I haven’t seen my own book yet. Not the physical copy. It would have taken an eternity to reach here for the preview. It sort of seems like a betrayal to not hold the actual thing in my hand before offering it, but I am going to swallow the feeling with grace. You tell me, if you do buy it from here, or here, about how the pages feel. How the book smells (I do hope it doesn’t smell of that idiotic adhesive they use). Is the font size too big at the back of the book?

Does the cream of the pages seem creamy cream? Oh lord, I do want to physically feel it!

You would want to know what it is about, wouldn’t you? It’s a book written with a lot of heart, and a lot of apprehension. Find out here what it is about, please.

I’d planned to get a video done to ‘market’ it and make myself rich so that I can spend more time with my daughter and give her more chances to pull my hair, but that bit is a little off the burner right now. No one wants to make it. It is sort of sad, but I am going to swallow that with grace, too. And find out another way to make the animation, and put everything together. Until then, I am going to secretly whoop. And feel like I have finally begun.

Note: Not quite begun, actually. Because there is so much I need to know about the technical side of it. What about it? Find out at my other blog.


18 thoughts on “Publishing a book — the untold emotional side”

  1. I am very excited for you, Priya. I’ve said that already, I believe. And now – now, I feel a bit guilty that I will be holding your creation before you are able to hold a copy yourself. You will though – right? I mean, a copy is getting sent to you, yes?
    In other news, I cannot believe your baby daughter is already 5 months old. That much time has passed already? Wow.

    1. I am going to get a copy, yes. There is no way I would let it go by.

      Yes, our little one is 5 already! She can coo and gurgle and swallow Doremon’s bell. She is delightful.

      Lenore, I can never thank you enough for making me feel ‘appreciated’ in your comments.

  2. Priya, I’m so happy for you! I will try and get my hands on a copy soon and let you know how it feels! I haven’t wanted to talk about this, but your post is making me do it…but my husband published my blog for me (as a surprise) for our 20th anniversery. He gave it to me a few weeks ago. It is stunning to see one’s work in a shiny paperback…I was a little torn because my blog isn’t “book ready” in any way…but I tried to let go of my perfectionism. I’m not selling it, like you, but that’s not the point. The great thing is, like you mentioned, it doens’t matter who or what publishes our work, the important thing to remember is that you will have your book in your hand. Your darling daughter will be able to hold it in her hands, press it to her sweet lips and teeth on its edges 😉

    1. This is wonderful, Patrice. Your husband is gem. But you already know that.

      I don’t know if my book is worth selling. But when I am in the deepest throes of doubt, I tell myself that my words might light up at least one life at some point in time. If that happens, then it is worth selling. Win, win.

      Do consider this idea, won’t you?

      Bela was listening to nursery rhymes while I held the book. In happiness, the first thing she wanted to do was to eat it. No teeth yet, but the book could get gummy, if I hadn’t told her that nursery rhymes are better sung, recited, or listened to.

      I often think of your expression about your child and you — the feeling, the emotion. It was in a comment in one of your posts. I want to visit it again and borrow it. I want to memorise it, because it explains exactly how it feels to feel your child next to you.

      1. now you have that one person to write for…your daughter will always cherish your writing, and perhaps her children as well. you are a writer and writers must write and discover worlds waiting to be explored. What a fantastic example you are to your child. She will always be so proud of you and in turn, proud of herself. We can’t separate ourselves entirely from those who bring us into this life 🙂

        That passage I wrote to you…funny, I do remember it, because the words describes the supreme joy and honor of my life. I am so lucky I was not one of those mothers who could see what I had, and if my vision did fail me it was mostly just temporary, at times due to exhaustion. I remember feeling for the first time part of a complete and thriving unit. A mother, a father and a child. I suppose I am made happy quite easily…I am such a child myself sometimes. But I’ve noticed that’s a family trait. To be curious, and wonder, keeps us vital and alive.

        I have a picture of my daughter and myself when she was just a baby. It’s one I’ve always loved, i will try to send it to you.

      2. I like to believe my daughter will grow up to respect and acknowledge these subtleties in a person’s kitty of well-meant effort. It is so crucial, isn’t it? For one, I’d like her to be able to read, and then evaluate the magic of words and images. She’s begun, in a way. When I read out the mischief of Mungo the monkey, she monkeys around with her arms flailing and her not-so gentle voice whoo-whooing. She loves the purple in the monkey, I suppose. But I hope she also appreciates those squiggly black things on sheets of white.

        Our vision fails, Patrice. In such a short time, I have done small little things I am not proud of. But as long as it comes back, the lack of blindness, it is all right.

        It’d be an honour to look at the picture you are talking about.

    1. I didn’t know how it’d work, Bela. To be honest, I didn’t research much on the options one has these days. A printed book appeals to me, so I simply picked it up as the only obvious choice. Maybe I’ll have more time and patience with my next book!

  3. How wonderful for you! And how admirable, that you managed to find your way through all the complications of creation. When I think of publishing something, the thought of the writing doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the process of transforming it into print-ready text, choosing the cover, and so on and so forth. I think I simply haven’t been bitten by the publishing bug yet – if I had, the complications wouldn’t seem such a hurdle.

    I absolutely love that one of your tags is “Woohoo”! That says it all – and I hope the rewards are plentiful. I can’t wait for you to be able to hold your “word-baby” in your hands. I think that will be worth another “woohoo!” post, too!

    1. Woohoo is how I feel almost constantly these days, Linda. Yes, it feels grand.

      The complications of publishing will be much less for you, since you are in the US and several things like ordering a proof of your book will be that much easier. As for the formatting, do not worry. Your neat and elegant blog shows that you can do it. Only, it might take much longer than a post does. Publishing is more of a fun activity for adults who blog rather than anything else, I am beginning to believe. Even though I’ve put my book up for sale, even if it wasn’t, the kick would’ve been the same!

  4. Gosh, that’s terrific, Priya, I’m so happy for you! I wish you oodles of success and may this be the beginning of an enormous fortune and fame…may you enjoy inner satisfaction and contentment with your splendid accomplishment, dear friend! Hugs xx

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