Vain obsessions

When I know I prefer a certain trait in me over other’s comparable ones, I feel a sense of vanity that makes me more a friend to myself than to others. I end up being quite unapproachable this way, because my obsession with myself takes up most of my energies.

If I left room for others, appreciated their approach to life and stimuli even if I didn’t understand them and would never endorse them, my heart would be fuller. And less unapproachable.


7 thoughts on “Vain obsessions”

  1. You describe yourself (sometimes) in a way that sounds as though you think you’re selfish and self-centered*. But the very fact that you’re expressing these ideas and questioning your own thoughts and actions contradicts your concerns. Selfish and self-centered people don’t have the ability to look at themselves so objectively, and to be so introspective. How many of your friends and family would agree with you, that you are obsessed with yourself and don’t leave room for others? I would guess very few, if any at all.

    *I hope the words “selfish” and “self-centered” didn’t jump out at you and cause your heart to stop!

  2. I am introspective to a fault. (my mother has told me as much a zillion times). “At least don’t announce it to the world,” she feels. A gentleman once voted against me getting the dubious post of “Events manager” at a school because he thought I was “too idealistic for her own good.” No one thinks I have no room for others. I come across as a generous person to most, I think. :O)
    But I have faults, you know?
    However this post isn’t really about me, even if I’ve used the easy pronoun. It is simply a take on those times when everyone, without exception, blocks out the importance of accepting people’s points of view as a possible perspective. If you notice, you’ll see there are many instances when people simply refuse to understand that there could be another way of looking at things (like how page-3 wows will react if they see a girl like me wearing a canary-yellow beanie teamed with fuchsia gloves).

    ps No, it didn’t stop. I really do think selfishness is an unavoidable emotion, though. No one is without it. Self-obsession, however, is something else. If I come across (sometimes) as someone who thinks she is self-centered, then I must revise my PR projections. :O)

  3. Wows – a word I just coined. The beautifully groomed people, who invariably elicit a ‘wow’ from the less indulging ones.
    Page-3 – The page on which the social life of celebrities and wannabes is reported in the current Indian newspapers. I am sorry I should’ve elaborated!

  4. You are right.
    Now I know what I am being. Vain. My way is the only way to see this. It’s not, “even if I didn’t understand them and would never endorse them”.

    You know lately how many things I have been coming across, that I want to compile & preserve, to keep by my bedside. I wish I would do something about it rather than just comment & forget.

  5. We forget that others think they’re right, too. So if everyone’s right, who’s wrong? And why does a situation go from manageable to insufferable? It must be the self-obsession. Perhaps. Empathy needn’t be bowing down to the point of view others hold. It just means trying to acknowledge that another point of view exists, and that it is as important to its owner as mine is to me. Simple, but difficult to master, eh?

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